#5: MIB 3 (Men In Black 3)

We’re going back! Back in time! To an ok movie.

Let me be perfectly clear about my feelings for MIB 3: Is this movie needed? No. Not at all really. The franchise could have ended at MIB 2 to be honest. However, I will say that I prefer this movie over the other two, even though you will see tons of references to MIB and MIB2 in this flick.

Plot: So Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) has more secrets again (Hey just like MIB and MIB 2!) and of course, Agent J (Will Smith) has to know why. (I honestly thought the movie could have been a lot shorter if Agent J just said “Ok your secrets are your own.” or something like that.) Anyways… Agent J discovers that Agent K is dead the next day and ends up going back in time to save the younger Agent K’s (Josh Brolin) life from some badguy named “Boris the Animal” (Jemaine Clement). Apparently Boris wants revenge because Agent K shot off his arm in 1969 and placed him in a prision on the moon ever since he tried to plan an alien invasion. From there Agent J tries to figure out how Boris will attempt to kill Agent K.

While that sound ok on paper there are a few things within the movie that are just rediculous, don’t make sense, or are re-used from the other 2 movies. There are also a few good things that this movie picks up as well. Here they are:

Bad Things:

  1. Tommy Lee Jones is BARELY in the movie. YES I DO REALIZE that Will Smith goes back in time in order to save him … but did they really have to keep him out for about 90% of the movie? I think he really is in the movie for a total of 20 minutes or less. Honestly that is really depressing because Tommy Lee Jones is a really good actor.
  2. (This is about Tommy Lee again but with something else) There are about 3-4 times where Tommy Lee Jones looks like he is 80 years old and then again as 60 years old. I cannot show you pictures of it because there are none on the internet, but the age deformation is really noticeable within the first 20 minutes of the movie. To be honest this really just looks sloppy and stupid. Just pay really close attention in the beginning. Oh also it happens again at the very end of the movie when Agent K is talking to Agent J at the diner.
  3. The bad guy is almost like the first bad guy from Men In Black. There’s those moments where he doesn’t sound or even act like a human even though he is trying to blend into normal society. Anyone could notice that he is not normal just because of the way he talks. Seriously it is a major problem that should have been averted from the first movie that was thrown back into the 3rd.
  4. The “eyeball aliens” that research other aliens on those big computers are not seen in this movie. To be honest there are not that many aliens compared to the other two movies. And that’s a problem considering that, oh I don’t know, this movie is MAINLY ABOUT ALIENS?? Damn.
  5. Pitbull. The Rapper. This is my biggest complaint with the movie. No he is not in the movie thank god, but he performs the MIB 3 theme song during the credits of the movie. Here’s my question for the idiot who approved this idea to use Pitbull: WHY WOULD YOU NOT USE WILL SMITH??? I mean jesus Will Smith’s songs are like the best part of his movies (sometimes). God I hate Pitbull. His whiny raspy voice just makes me want to jump out of a window every time that I hear one of his songs. The one song of his that makes me want to impale myself every time I hear it is “I know you want me…. You know I want ya!” … Ugghhh!! Just unbelieveable. Do you know what the director said about Pitbull? “Oh yeah I really do like Pitbull. My daughter turned me on to him and I am glad to be able to use him in my movie.” Dead serious right now.

To hear Pitbull’s MIB 3 Song check this out here:

Now I want you to take a second, breathe, and then listen to Will Smith’s MIB and MIB 2 songs here:

Men In Black:

Black Suits Comin’ (Nod Ya Head):

See and Hear the difference? Now tell me Pitbull’s is better! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! Can’t do it? Me neither. Will Smith’s songs still reign supreme.

Good Things:

  1. That dog from the first two movies and the stick little alien things are either A). not in the movie, or B). only seen for a few seconds. I felt they were really annoying and felt like Jar-Jar Binks. It’s just there to piss you off till you cannot take anymore.
  2. Josh Brolin. He really does steal the show here and if Agent K was a real person, in real life, Josh Brolin should get a god damn oscar. His interpretation of Tommy Lee’s Agent K is really spot on. He even friggen sounds like him! It’s really unbelieveable how good Josh Brolin is in this movie. I really feel that he does a hell of a job here.
  3. Will Smith. Need I say more?

Really that’s all I have to say.

To summarize again: No this movie was not supposed to be made. But it’s honestly better than the other two despite some hefty problems.

IMDB Score: 7.2

My Score: 7.6

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