#6: Snow White and the Huntsman

Thank god Kristen Stewart is not the main attraction in this film. It could have been a lot worse if that were to happen.

Same as always, ALL WILL BE SPOILED HERE!

Honestly I thought the animated Disney Film was the best one thus far out of all the Snow White interpretations I’ve seen thus far. I’ve only seen 3 different versions of Snow White: Snow White (the animated one from Disney), Mirror Mirror (2012), and Snow White and The Huntsman (2012) and I can tell you that Mirror Mirror and SW&THM (Snow White and the Hunstman) are nowhere near as good as the animated film.

Here’s my short version review: It’s OK. It’s not fantastic or spectacular or whatever but really the main reason to see it is Charlize Theron. She really does steal the show and every scene she is in and honestly… She’s awesome! I would only see this movie again for Charlize.

Besides her, there really is no other reason why you should watch this movie.

Here’s the Longer Version:

Plot: Snow White’s (Kristen Stewart) father, the king, marries a slave named Ravenna (Charlize Theron), who was captured in a battle, after his previous wife had died. It turns out that the Ravenna is actually a witch and kills the king on their wedding night. Moments later, Ravenna’s brother comes into the castle with a huge ton of soldiers and captures the castle. During the attack, Snow White’s friend William, and his father Duke Hammond escape the castle but are not able to save Snow White from being captured. Ravenna is now the queen of the land and keeps Snow White prisoner in her castle for many many years… 15 I think.

During the 15 years, The Queen uses a magical mirror to determine if she is the fairest and most beautiful out of all the women in the land. If she starts to age, she takes the most beautiful women in the land and sucks out their youth in order to stay young.

One day the mirror informs The Queen that Snow White is destined to be more fairer than her. He explains that because Snow White is alive, she is having an effect on The Queen’s powers and will eventually cause them to disappear. But if The Queen can be in possession of Snow White’s heart she will become immortal and never ever age again. So The Queen orders her brother to get Snow White from the tower. Snow White then slashes The Queen’s brother in the face and escapes from the castle via the sewer system. The Queen becomes furious with her brother and orders him to find someone to find her because her magic cannot work in the dark forest for some reason (it’s never explained).

We then see The Huntsman (Chris Hemmsworth) in a fight with some people because he owes them money. The Hunstman is knocked out and he wakes up via TQB (The Queen’s Brother) and is ordered to see The Queen. The Queen orders The Hunstman to find Snow White and in return she will bring The Huntsman’s wife back from the dead. The Huntsman constantly demands to know why Snow White is important but is constantly told “it is not your concern”. After being forced to find Snow White, The Huntsman and TQB find Snow White quickly in the dark forest and then TQB betrays The Hunstman by saying that “The Queen cannot bring back the dead you fool!”. The Huntsman and Snow White escape to a nearby village that is full of women who have scarred themselves in order to be ugly so The Queen won’t suck the youth out of them.

William, who is now grown up, and is skilled with a bow, finds out from his father that Snow White is alive and goes out to search for her. He eventually meets up with TQB and kills their bowman in order to ride with them and find Snow White.

One of the women of the village informs The Hunstman who Snow White really is and The Huntsman then decides to leave in the middle of the night by saying to one of the women “She is safer with you”. TQB finds the village and burns it to the ground. William ends up killing some of TQB’s men and The Huntsman returns and he and Snow White escape the burning village. William goes back under cover and continues to ride with TQB and his men. Snow White and The Huntsman are captured by dwarves and then take them to their secret hideaway. (Oh and no the dwarves are not named Doc, Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey, etc… it’s weird names like Coll, Duir, Gus, and Gort. Wow.) One of the dwarves dies, because of a surprise attack from TQB and then William reveals himself and joins up with the group. TQB and The Hunstman engage in a battle to the death and The Huntsman thrusts TQB into a rotted, spikey tree and he is dying. TQB asks The Queen for help but her powers are dwindling so much that she cannot save him. TQB dies and the group travels on.

On their way to Duke Hammond’s castle, The Queen disguises herself as William and gives Snow White a poisoned apple. The Apple causes her to become in a coma like state and just before The Queen can kill Snow White, she is attacked by the real William and The Huntsman. The Queen flies away and then is seen as fatally wounded in her private quarters. She sucks up a ton of women, and returns back to being young again. The group takes Snow White to Duke Hammond’s castle and have a funeral for her. She is left out in the open in a chapel and The Huntsman professes his love for Snow White because she reminds him of his wife. The Huntsman kisses Snow White and she comes back to life.

The rest of the movie involves the taking of the castle from The Queen. Snow White plunges a small sword into The Queen and she dies. As The Queen dies, she becomes old and reverts to her real age. Snow White becomes the new queen and the last thing you see is Snow White and The Huntsman looking at each other.

Yeah. There are a ton of things that I have to say about this movie:

  1. Kristen Stewart has the least amount of lines in a movie. Normally I would say that this is a bad thing for a main character, but really. I’m ok with it! Any objections? No? Good! Moving on!
  2. There’s a love thing going on between The Huntsman and Snow White. Here’s my problem with this. Isn’t Snow White and The Prince, in this case William, supposed to be together? I feel really bad for William because he is BARELY in the movie and when he is… he is pretty much forgotten about! It’s just like this: Action action action… stuff… oh hey I forgot William is alive. He has a line. Ok… The real story is about Snow White and The Prince falling in love together and conquering evil and that kinda stuff! The whole thing with The Huntsman feels weird and honestly I think that it will just completely wreck the sequel. Speaking of which…
  3. There’s going to be a sequel! WTF?? Where can you possibly go from here??? How is this going to work?!?! HOW I ASK YOU?!?! HOW?!?! Maybe if this movie was in 2 parts I could understand but really there’s a huge problem here! THE QUEEN IS DEAD!!! What will the villain be? Is The Huntsman & Snow White & William triangle going to be the whole plot of the movie? If so then we are going to see some S#!& hitting the fan and angry audience members will be leaving after the first 20 minutes!
  4. Chris Hemmsworth is only here to sell movie tickets. I mean yeah he does a good job at being The Huntsman because he pretty much is almost entirely like THOR in this movie. I think he is only here to be either eye candy or just show off his slashing and killing of stuff. And he already did a lot of that in Thor and The Avengers! I really feel that he is only here to keep people entertained and not fall asleep or something.
  5. Charlize Theron is also not in the movie a whole bunch. I mean yeah she has a ton of time in the beginning and the end, but in the middle she’s barley seen again except for a few parts here and there. SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE SCREEN TIME!!!

Anyways besides that the only other thing I can say is… Wait Wait WAIT! There is one big complain I have left!

      6. THERE IS NO TRANSFORMATION!!!! The whole thing where The Queen turns into the Old Witch via a potion NEVER HAPPENS!!! DAMN! I was waiting FOREVER for this part of the movie to happen and… nothing. WHAT A LET DOWN! I mean we kinda see her be the old witch/hag but only when Charlize gets old because she doesn’t suck enough people dry (hahaha context)! I just wish they would have done the transformation scene like in the animated film. That scene just blew my mind when I was a kid and I was anxious to see it again in this film! But no. Just disappointment. F-U MOVIE!

Anyways besides that the only other thing that I can say is… it was just OK. I mean the movie is kinda everywhere and it feels just like a big ball of mediocre-ness. I would just recommend only watching it for Charlize Theron. She is awesome here and totally kicks tons of ass. Besides that the movie is missable. Just only see it if you REALLY wanna see Charlize Theron be a bad guy.

IMDB Score: 6.7

My Score: 6.7 (yeah I agree with them cause I couldn’t think of a number!)

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