#9: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Holy God Almighty… This Movie Was AWESOME!

Did you actually know that this was a book? Me neither! Yeah it’s from the same people who made that book “Pride and Predjudice and Zombies”. Huh… Interesting. I don’t know any other works by the same people but I want the next movie to come out in the series to either be “Pride and Predjudice and Zombies” or something like “Benajmin Franklin Dragon Slayer” …. something like that. Give me a break I just made it up!

Tons of spoils ahead…

Anyways the plot is fairly simple: Abraham Lincoln’s mom gets killed by a vampire when he was a kid and he vows revenge by becoming a Vampire Hunter years later. He doesn’t use guns to kill them though. He uses this special silver axe that is actually a gun when used correctly and DAMN is he good at using it. After killing a number of vampires, he eventually comes across the guy who killed his mom. He kills him and then vows to rid the world of vampires once and for all. This leads him to become the President that we know and love because he also chooses to be involved in politics. He uses his advantage by being President, to rally his fellow Americans against the south because, in reality, the south is full of vampires that need to be given a final death. This leads to the American civil war because the vampire leaders want slavery to stay intact so that they can have a continuous supply of blood given to them. Lincoln foils their plans and abolishes slavery, as well as a huge ton of vampires as well. He doesn’t get rid of all the vampires in the world… but he does kill a ton.

That’s it. Yeah I mean it’s not the greatest story ever put on a screen but it really doesn’t matter. The whole reason why this movie was made was to see Abraham Lincoln kick some vampire ass on the big screen! That, by itself, works! Nothing else was needed!

I will admit that the cast selection was pretty good. There’s Dominic Cooper (from Captain America – The First Avenger) who plays as Abe’s mentor, Benjamin Walker (from Flags of Our Fathers) who plays Abraham Lincoln, Mary Elizabeth Winstead (from Scott Pilgrim vs The World) who is Lincoln’s wife, Jimmi Simpson (from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) who is one of Lincoln’s friends, Rufus Sewell (from The Illusionist) who plays as “The Head Vampire” guy or whatever, and Anthony Mackie (from The Adjustment Bureau) who is another one of Lincoln’s friends.

Also did you know that Tim Burton is the producer? Yeah this does seem like something he would do… Anyways…

It was really cool to see a ton of familiar faces in this movie because all of these actors are really good. The only one I really have not seen a lot of is actually Benjamin Walker. And that’s kind of sad considering the fact that he is THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS MOVIE!!! I hope that his career takes off from this movie because honestly he felt the most out of place (in terms of stardom) in this movie. Regardless of the fact I did like his interpretation of Abraham Lincoln.

The only complaint that I can think of right now is this: WHY IS THIS MOVIE NOT MAKING ENOUGH MONEY??? I feel bad for the director, Timur Bekmambetov, because he has made a ton of movies in the past that, while they are each good films, do not make that much money. This guy has made a ton of good movies like WANTED, 9 (that one movie with the dolls), and THE DARKEST HOUR. However I will say that WANTED was the only one that was able to make over 100 million dollars. And that movie was kick ass!

I don’t really know why this movie is not doing that well! I mean yeah, the plot is not necessarily worthy of an oscar, but really this movie is intended to reach out to the kind of audience that’s looking for a bit of horror, action, monsters, history (although a good chunk of it is inaccurate), and intense fight scenes all thrown together into a blender!

Actually no, I lied, I do have one other complaint… that may turn out to be more than one complaint.

If you have seen either SHERLOCK HOLMES, or SHERLOCK HOLMES – A GAME OF SHADOWS, or even WANTED, you will know what I am talking about here. There are a ton of slow motion action shots within ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER that make you feel like you are watching another movie within the series of the SHERLOCK HOLMES movies with Robert Downey Jr. While there are no moments where Abe lists in his mind how he will take down his foes, he does happen to use the “special effect/supernatural ability” to slow down time a lot to accentuate the use of him killing a vampire or blowing gun bullets into the bad guy. And while the axe scenes with Abraham Lincoln are completely awesome, there is only one scene where he uses the secret gun within the axe to kill a vampire. Beyond that you will see a ton of head decapitations that seem redundant after a while.

I feel that the special effects here are nothing more than to just become eye candy. Yes I know how obvious that statement sounds when I say it out like this, but really the special effects are just there to keep you distracted. This amount of eye candy is not necessarilly a good thing though. Most of the movie seems to rely on the use of special effects and less on the plot because, yet again, THE PLOT IS SO SIMPLE!! However without the use of special effects in this movie, I feel that it would have been a total flop without special effects and that is kind of a let down. IF your movie cannot survive without the use of special effects then you are in trouble. I feel that directors and producers should tell a story without having to rely on special effects ALL THE TIME! THIS IS WHY GREEN LANTERN SUCKED!!! I CANNOT LET THAT ABOMINATION GO!!! … Ok ok I am done ranting.

Really that is all I have to say about this movie: plot is simple, action is intense, fight scenes will seem redundant, cast is awesome, and special effects are used a whole ton here but are considered to be awesome eye candy.

Bottom line is that I would recommed this movie. You should expect a ton of historical inaccuracy, and a ludacris amount of special effects, but beyond that I would recommed seeing this movie RIGHT NOW!

IMDB Score: 6.5

My Score: 8.0

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