#7: Batman Vengeance

Because I am still in a “Batman phase”, and cannot get enough Batman right now, I think I will review a past Batman game that I tended to play years ago. I do not have this game anymore, but I remember it distinctly in my head and have some pictures to help display my thoughts about this game. Part of me still wishes I had this game but honestly I am glad it is not in my stash anymore.

I will say that while it was a pretty smart move to try and make a unique Batman game to the newest generation of consoles at the time (Xbox, PS2, and Gamecube). I mean it made perfect sense! Just put Batman in a video game and let the kids run wild with enjoyment! But it doesn’t matter because the game is not very great. I know that this game is very very cruddy but there are some aspects of it that I just cannot turn away from. It just pulls me in and does not let me go! UGGHHH!! DAMN!

The first thing I will say is that the game looks… like utter S#!&!!! Honestly I was really surprised how god damn-ingly bad the graphics look. What? Don’t believe me? Look at these pictures here to see how crappy the graphics look:

I think that these graphics were borrowed from the guys who made the first Crash Bandicoot game. I mean seriously! Look at the first picture? Notice how screwed up Batman’s arms and legs look?? Plus the backgrounds don’t look that great either! COME ON!! Look at all the textures being used! Did they rush this game and not notice how completely messed up everything looks? Really? You did not notice this? This just pisses me off because I know that they were trying to model this game off of The New Batman Adventures TV Series. That’s fine and all. But did they have to rush the game? I am willing to wait (but not for years upon years) for a game to come out if it tends to be good. But it looks like here they are just spewing this out just to get kids to buy it and parents to be suckered into getting it because … IT’S BATMAN!

Wait wait wait where are my manners. We need to talk about the plot. Here is the plot. Sorry for going out of order here.

Plot: The game starts off with Batman saving this girl (who is really Harley Quinn in disguise). Then Batman is lured over to Gotham bridge where he fights The Joker and then The Joker falls off the edge and it is presumed that he dies. Then the game turns towards Mr. Freeze because he wants this chemical known as Promethium (hey like that movie PROMETHEUS … but not really)  that was made by scientist Isaac Evers. Then, when Batman beats Mr. Freeze, Batman chases a guy who is stalking Batgirl. The guy turns out to be a goon made entirely out of plants that was constructed by Poison Ivy. So Batman beats Poison Ivy and then he goes to Harley Quinn because he finds a clue that connects her to Poison Ivy. After Batman leaves Harley, Commissioner Gordon is outside and gets hit with a Batarang. Batman didn’t throw it but the police go after him anyways and they are PISSED OFF!! Batman returns to the Batcave and he goes undercover as Bruce Wayne and returns to Harley’s Warehouse in order to find more clues. When he gets there he discovers that The Joker is not really dead through a very important clue. So Batman goes to the underground gas works beneath Gotham and discovers that The Joker intends to burn Gotham with the use of Joker Toxin and Promethium being pumped into the sewers and water main pipes. Then his “Joker Toy Bots” would enter the pipes and explode causing all of Gotham to burn ALIVE!! Batman stops his plan and saves The Joker from killing himself. Then the game ends and Batman returns to a gargoyle on top of a building. THE END.

Yeah that’s the story. Not very creative but I have heard worse.

Ok. Back to the complaints now.

Another thing I will say is that there are a ton of gadgets that I never really needed. All I really needed in a Batman game was Batarangs, and my Bat-Launcher (that zip line thing). But in here I got bat cuffs, bat nets, electric batarangs and so much more crap. There were a few times where I needed the electric batarangs because of the levels with Poison Ivy. I just did not see the point of having a ton of useless gadgets. Why were there so many? I would have welcomed a challenge where we only got batarangs here! Whatever.. It is fun to find the extras in this game though because there is one that allows you to turn invisible. YEAH!! Invisible BATMAN!! But the other ones like infinite ammo are meaningless to me because when you turn invisible, you can pretty much run past everyone and beat the game easy peasy.

The last thing I must say that I despise about this game is on par with Uncle Ben not saying “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility” in THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN. You ready for this shocking revelation why this game is REALLY REALLY BAD??? OK. HERE IT IS:

Guess who this guy is supposed to be? Sinbad? No. Blackbeard. No…. it’s BRUCE WAYNE!!! WHAAAAATTT????? WHAT HAPPENED??? Did they ever watch the show?? Here is what Bruce Wayne looks like throughout the series:

Now look at these two pictures and tell me, with an honest face, HOW THE HELL CAN YOU MAKE BRUCE WAYNE A GOD DAMN PIRATE???? This is a huge disgrace not just to Bruce’s character but to the whole idea of Batman in general. Now I will allow the Christian Bale style of Batman to have a beard because he traveled the world in order to be Batman and learn about the criminal mind. But when you base Batman completely off a tv show that is animated… HOW can you mess that up? I still do not get it. I wanted to laugh out loud so bad because the idea to make Bruce Wayne look like Blackbeard is just mind boggling. I mean this is so ridiculous it just makes me want to get on my knees, cry from laughter, and then throw my TV out the window everytime I see this character show his face in the game. Man… this is messed up. Completely messed up. Also what is with the scar? Does he want to look like Anakin Skywalker a bit? I don’t know I just have to mention it is all.

OK. Let’s mention some good stuff now.

I will admit that the opening menu is completely amazing. I love the use of the graphic art that is used in the beginning of the game. Take a look at these pictures:

Holy crap! They look awesome. There is more than that but I could not find anymore than these two.

Another awesome thing about the game is the voice-acting. This game features EVERYONE from the animated series. And when I say everyone I literally mean… EVERYONE. What is not to like? Batman is still amazing, The Joker is still creepy and funny as ever, and Mr. Freeze is as cold and heartless as ever. Even Harley Quinn, Commissioner Gordon, and Poison Ivy are the same. Again I will say it, What’s not to like? All I can say is that I cannot imagine Batman/Bruce Wayne without Kevin Conroy and I cannot imagine The Joker without Mark Hammil. These two were born to be Batman and The Joker. It was a match made in voice acting heaven. Also I love the guy who plays Mr. Freeze. He is so cold, heartless, and loss of life. I cannot imagine his voice being anyone else. Out of all the characters I love him the most because he is just a walking zombie with a brain, and a cold heart to match.

The last thing to like about this game is the game cutscenes. These are… AMAZING. Now you’re thinking… How is it possible that the game is not very good, but the cutscenes are completely out of this world? Well the only way to do that is to show you: (I will show you them all just to let you see the whole story).

Well that’s my review of Batman Vengeance. It has some great features, but none the less is not as good as it could have been. But atleast it was not BATMAN: DARK TOMORROW. And god was that game a mess.

IGN Score: 8.2

My Score: 7.0

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